Thursday 2 July 2009

"Madder than a bag full of actresses. And even more desirable!"


If I had to explain to you exactly what an orgasm would look like. If I had to paint perfection. If I had to sacrifice seventeen Lebanese prostitutes to afford one then I know what I'd choose...












If a 3.6l engine and 415 horsepower doesn't impress you then I should probably tell you that it also sports a six cylinder engine. This enables the porsche to have a low centre of gravity- which allows it to roar around any track.

The engine of the GT3 sets it apart from the other models although it shares the same basic 3.6 litre displacement of the standard 996 type so-called "integrated dry-sump" flat-six engine. It is actually based on the original 911's versatile, true dry-sump crankcase. The original version of the GT3 had 355 hp, compared to the 296 hp of the regular 996.

This engine gives the GT3 a distinct racing heritage that dates back to the Porsche 904/6 of the mid-60's, up to the Carrera Cup and 997 Super Cup and RSR racing cars of today.

The GT3's gearbox has interchangeable gear ratios and is more durable making it more suitable for racing than the standard 996 type 911 gearbox.

At 435 hp the 3.8 litre flat-six engine in the 997 GT3 and GT3 RS is the most powerful naturally aspirated six cylinder engine in any production car.


It really does just scream "POWER!"

And it doesn't stop there...



With more buttons on the dashboard that on a rather larger woman's blouse it'll keep those of us who are easily distracted amused for several hours, whilst at the same time offering a great stress relief for bumbling oafs like Gordon Brown. "Me angry, me push buttons fix country.... Gordon happy..." you get the general idea...


Now for the good stuff (courtesy of Top Gear- although this is referencing the GT2 :-( )

Overall Verdict...
The wildest, fastest 911 around – rear-engined, rear wheel drive and 523bhp of turbocharged silliness. See why they call it the widowmaker? We’d still take the GT3 instead though.

Comfort...

For something that’ll keep pace with a Ferrari 430 Scud on just about any road, it’s not half bad even over dodgy road surfaces. That said, it’s not exactly what you’d call a comfortable car to drive. And then there’s always the lurking suspicion that it Actually Wants To Kill You.

11 out of 20






Performance...

Jaw-dropping. A reworked version of the Turbo’s 3.6-litre sees a frankly insane 523bhp and 502lb ft of torque. That’s good for 0-62 in 3.6 seconds, 0-100mph in 7.4 seconds and a top speed on the scary side of 200mph. In a drag race, it’ll eat the Nissan GT-R for breakfast. And then come back for elevenses.

20 out of 20






Coolness...

Instantly marks you out as a tosser. But the sort of tosser who’s happy to die in hideous and immediate fashion. Which, we think you’ll agree, is the most likeable sort of tosser

15 out of 20




Handling...

The 911 is an icon of impracticality; the car the divorcee buys when he no longer has the kids to worry about. There’s a roll cage behind the front seats. What more do you need to know?

11 out of 20




Top Gear Top Tip...
Unless you really, really have to have the ultimate Porsche, save yourself 50 grand and go for the GT3. It’s just slightly more pure…

Now it's time to put it in the hands of our rather tame racing driver...

Some say that he actually choreographed the entire Thriller music video whilst waiting for his McMuffin, others that if you met him in a bar he'd be sat in the corner drinking Pimms out of a woman's boot...

All we know is he's called 'The Stig'...

On the power lap it scored a rather arousing 1.22.3!

II couldn't find The Stig's verdict so I'll do this myself!

"One word, AWESOME!"

For the win :-D


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