Thursday 8 March 2012

I've lost my mind...

So, after yet another wasted appointment with the shrink today, I find myself at a loss yet again.

Sometimes I often do sit and wonder what it'd be like to not be controlled by my 'illness' for one day, but then comes the crashing reality in the knowledge that (whilst it would be a nice dream) there is no end to my mental struggle.

The latest news is that I have what is known as Rapid Cycling.

Anyway enough about my ramblings, it would be great to hear if any of you who suffer from Bi Polar have experienced anything similar, and how you manage to live a normal life through it all?

Sunday 19 February 2012

Twinkle, Twinkle, Fallen Star!

So yet again we have another Celebrity who lived and died all in the public eye.

I'm talking, of course, about the tragic death of Whitney Houston. Yet another talented singer, who lived her life in the public eye- and yet again another singer who's death was just as publicised as her life.

But I guess this is the result of living the life, the 'flip-side' to the coin, the other blade on the double edged sword they all came to call life.

Yes it is overwhelmingly apparent that Whitney had an incredible voice- I've heard her once dubbed; "The voice, the icon, the legend!'. However, her latter years were overshadowed by her substance abuse and domestic violence.

How many people do you think took to the net to try and find more information on her death, or (and rather disgustingly at that) took the net to try and find that shot of her body, submerged in water? Limp, lifeless and alone.

The one moment she had in her adult life which should have been private, yet the press and paparazzi- alike- all took to the hotel where she was found, all hoping to capture that 'Front Page' photo. And I mean, of course having a photo of that moment would have sold billions of copies of your publication- but then again doesn't phone hacking?

Where is the privacy of it all?

From A list celebrities to us normal folk, everybody publicises every detail of their life (I, myself, am guilty of this too). Who hasn't taken to Facebook to tell the world something? And who hasn't posted their own eulogy of a fallen star days after their demise?

Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson- all stars in their own right, were all victims of both substance abuse and the public eye. Every intimate moment of their lives were captured and mass produced to make a 'quick buck'.

So called 'fans' were drooling at the sight of these Stars, out of their trees on all kinds of drugs, falling into/ out of cars with their genitals on show. Getting thrown out of all sorts of establishments for being over the limit. But you look at anyone who suffers any kind of addiction, and ask them why they're taking it - and you're answer (much similar to the answer you'd get from a Star) is that it provides them with an escape from reality. And when a 'Star's' reality is living their lives in the public eye, in front of a society much similar to rabid dogs, can you really blame them for needing a release? Yet as soon as these Stars perish, the same people who mocked and criticised them whilst they were alive, hold candles and mourn them- and call themselves fans!

I mean, Whitney's funeral (or 'home-going') was available for viewing for the public. I can see why, fans of course want to share the last moments of Whitney's life.

But, yet, I'm left pondering what is private any more. And, indeed, whether it is possible for anyone in the public eye to have any private lives at all. Or is that just the cost of fame now? Have an amazing talent, share it with the world in exchange for your personal freedoms?

It's a sobering reflection on the kind of society we all live in, where we have to share and see so much of it with the world that the media turn up seconds after a star dies. All hoping to get that money making photo of a human being, who shared their talent with the world, lying helpless and lifeless.

Because after all, that is what they are isn't it... Human Beings?

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